X — Much Better — Words Matter

When I interact substantively with others, I tend to feel either detached, or very present (and generally connected). When detached, I’m immune from my feelings interfering with my brain and soul. When present, often, when things feel personal (, even when not directly personal,) — I often “over-react”. Besides — my face showing affect (if that), usually I appear stoic. (It is scary to expose myself in what often feels like unsafe space.)

Words matter — in a variety of situations, for most people. The simple words: “Black Lives Matter” — are most important, and very positive for many Black People, as well as for those who care deeply about them. When a lot of white people hear these same words, they commonly “mean”:

– “I should be totally ashamed that I am a white person. I should always defer to every Black Person!”

Obviously, for such white people, these words seem horribly insulting and condescending.

In doing my political work, I try to consider the likely impact of my words upon those who hear them. When my words land badly, I try to consider how I can repair the resulting damage, particularly when it could potentially hurt or end our relationship.

When I feel emotionally distant and isolated, it is challenging to hear and feel any possible positive impact from others’ words.

Sometimes, I can be attracted by the perceptiveness and deep insights of others, while also feeling fear, anger, or sadness — that can go in opposite…