White Man — I’m Impatient

Fellow white man, I’m impatient! We are not on the same path! I do not want to be your “buddy”. I am open to, and welcoming of “allyship”, however I’m very skeptical.

Over five years ago we started working together. I certainly was a “mixed bag” then. One thing I had, though, was a drive towards serious systemic change. Building that change required that I deepen my personal work. I also needed to go well beyond the personal work (alone).

Helping build the change necessitates:

1. Confronting other white men and welcoming their confronting of me,

2. Being deeply uncomfortable frequently,

3. Feeling like and often being an “outsider” in various spaces,

4. Listening deeply and being seriously curious,

5. Making mistakes and trying to minimize the harm that we and I create,

6. Welcoming the journey — the process — not being “end goal” attached,

7. Working with others — not being an individual pushing forward alone,

8. Being Accountable — internally within myself and among us fellow white men, as well as to others.

I see a lot of fellow white men who are:

1. Quite aware of “the issues”,

2. Well intentioned,

3. Doing “the work” and

4. Ineffective and at times even consistently harming and/or greatly limiting others.