What is “Sex”?

After reading other’s writings recently, I’m back to a basic perplexity and question of:

“What is sex?”

There is often a presumption that for heterosexual sharing between a male and a female that “sex” means the insertion of a male’s erect penis into a female’s vagina — or “coitus” — or “traditional heterosexual intercourse”. Left unclear is what “sex” may be for female-female or male-male coupling.

Before continuing I wish to note my own personal biases with this issue. As I discussed at length in a prior writing (https://marxgeo.medium.com/my-erectile-dysfunction-11c30342df7e), I have lived with erectile dysfunction since 1998. I would add, however, that my views were primarily formed before 1998.

To me, “sex” really is a range of behaviors that one or more people may have alone or with others. When one labels “sex” as the equivalent of “coitus”, meaning “(hetero)sexual intercourse” one needlessly creates a lot of presumptions and potential misunderstandings between people.

Example:

I, a man, sexually stimulate my female partner. As she responds with seeming “passion” to my touch, I presume that she:

1. is enjoying the experience, and

2. wishes to be brought to orgasm (for those without the degree of erectile dysfunction that I have, there might be a presumption that she wished to have “coitus”).

The presumptions here are that: