Bob — Death and Dying — Part I

I have a close friend Y, a few years older than me, who’s “retirement” includes moving into his (hopefully quite distant) death (in his own words). Thinking about my own death was quite scary until a few years ago. It still isn’t easy for me to think in such terms. I don’t care if my body is cremated or buried. I want my life partner, presuming she outlives me, to do what feels right for her, not for me — as I feel that my spirit will fully accept whatever path is chosen for it. (I would note that my partner thinks that I should be the decisionmaker in this area. I don’t want to decide). Is this part of my denial?

Tomorrow I may see for the last time a friend who is facing his own impending death. He is preparing for entering hospice care. He has a medical condition which has no “alternative” beyond his own death. He may have a “choice” as to when, but not if.

Feelings come up — of course! I feel sadness. I had hoped to interview him, knowing that it was one way for some of his major life achievements, those that he might choose to share with others, could add to his legacy.

This man has done some amazing things over decades of his life! I admire him very much! He has donated a huge quantity of materials he collected so that they can be shared with scholars and similar.

He has offered me a “gift” that means a lot to me. I hope to be able to accept it in small part for myself. The larger part of the gift can help other caring men — for whom it might provide a lasting benefit.